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Thursday, April 7, 2011

Day 76

Do you see these things? They're called "almonds"

And they are pure evil.

Do you know why they are pure evil? Clearly if you did, then you would not continue to read through what I am about to type. But if you are not enlightened in the monstrosity that is the existence of the almond, then I shall give you warning. Do not eat them. "Why should I stay away from these supposedly horrid things?" you may ask yourself. Let me speak to you from personal experience.

A few years ago, I was enjoying a nice car ride with my mother when she told me about these interesting little things. I had already tasted them in the form of a Hershey's bar, but I was ill-informed of how they would attack my taste buds when I would have them by themselves. She gave me a few.

Then it began. Oh, how it began.

The day in, day out obsession with munching on these little snacks took over my life. Endless nights of sneaking from my room to the kitchen and back and forth just for one more hit of these things. They haunted my every day life. I would have them everywhere I went, and would never stop popping one into my mouth whenever I was idle. It was an addiction I never knew could exist.

Thankfully, they're expensive. My mother refused to buy me anymore, and I had not had my license (or any cash) to go steal-er, buy some myself. Weeks of withdrawal followed. Severe headaches. Moments of insanity. Constantly reached down to my side to sneak one or two only to realize that they're not there for me anymore. The worst week of my life was trying to get over the addiction.

But I got better. Slowly, but I overcame the need to satisfy the craving for the small bastards. Then what do I get from my mother as I go back to college after coming home for a night, years after I was over it all?

Two bags of sunflower seeds,

and almonds.

A small can of almonds.

That entire picture of almonds? All gone way before finishing this post. The addiction is back. The horror continues. I don't have the cash to get more. And finals week is approaching. The only thing I can think right now...

'Aww, nuts'

today's video is a song about peanuts...(nsfw)...


  1. *Caution - The above tale may or may not be slightly exaggerated

  2. This was intense. I use to eat sun flower seeds until my tongue was raw and then eat some more.

  3. salted or unsalted?